You probably do not want this house. No giant yard to mow, no builder-grade finishes, no low ceilings. If that sounds like a problem, keep scrolling.

Still here? Good.

THE LOCATION: Downtown Kannapolis is not down the road, it is right there. The ballpark, the brewery, the Loop Greenway, the parks, all of it at your door. A brand-new dog park is going in next door. Best seat in the house. We apologize for the inconvenience.

THE LIFESTYLE: HOA at $133/month covers lawn care and landscaping. Someone else mows. Someone else lays the pine needles. You just own the house. If you were looking forward to Saturday mornings in the heat with a weed eater, this is going to disappoint you.

THE HOME: Open-concept main floor with tall ceilings, premium LVP, crown molding, quartz countertops, large island, subway tile backsplash, soft-close cabinetry, and stainless appliances. Primary suite on the main floor — walk-in closet, double vanity, marble-tile shower. Sorry about all the nice things.

THE SECOND FLOOR: Two bedrooms, full bath, laundry, and a cozy loft nook at the top of the stairs. Nowhere near zero bonus space. We know that is not what you wanted.

THE GARAGE: Over 1,000 sq ft of basement-level garage. 2-car + tandem parking potential + 2 driveway spaces off Pittmon Lane. Home gym, golf simulator, workshop.. all of it fits. Deeply inconvenient if you have no hobbies.

THE DEAL: 0% down, 0 PMI, and $10,000 in forgivable credits through our preferred lender for qualified buyers. Seller adding $5,000 toward closing costs… or a golf cart, because apparently getting to the ballpark without a car payment was not already enough.